Do Over! I Wish!

Being Foxy!

A huge part of healing is giving ourselves the chance to work with those things we wished we hadn't done! I've had a couple of those things happen to me lately and it made me think about this exercise we did at the Expressive Arts Institute at Salve Regina University in Newport, RI.

They had us begin by thinking of an incident where we did something we wish we could take back or do over! The first part of the exercise began with writing stream of consciousness (non stop writing) that is telling about how this incident felt using any words we wished including our emotions about it. We did this for two minutes. The leader timed it! (Thank goodness, we didn't share these because mine was full of swear words!) We talked to our partners about how this felt.

Then we were invited to write a report about the incident, no emotions, just the facts maam! We were reporters of what happened (for two minutes again). We talked about how this felt.

Next we were invited to write just telling the story as a story. Both emotions and facts. It was surprising to me how this felt! Like telling something but not being caught up in emotions or just telling the facts. It was a narrative! We once again had two minutes to write.

The next step for us was to sit back, breath and ask our bodies for an image that would help us with this story. Who were we in the story? My image was that of a little goat:

 I haven't looked at this for a while and didn't notice that the goat has blue eyes, tongue, and feet! Blue is always about communicating. It is the throat chakra. And yellow horns! Yellow is a power color for me which is the solar plexis chakra.

So this little goat was communicating seeing, speaking up and being able to move and having a power in her horns! Nice! Never saw that before!

Anyway, next we were invited to write a fairy tale beginning, "Once upon a time..." Mine was: The Little Scape Goat! It felt so strange writing this way and coming up with a tale for the circumstances! We didn't have much time (2 minutes) but I came up with a neat little tale using the idea of animal characters.

Next we were invited to think about what kind of character would have the skills we would need to help us out of the situation and to handle that situation differently. We were given these half poster boards with the paint sticks stapled on the bottom and invited to cut holes for the eyes the first thing. I chose to do a fox mask:

 This is a creative kind of thing that I absolutely love doing! I shaped it and worked on it until it got to this place. Notice the blue eyes? We were then invited to write on the back of our masks what qualities this mask had that would help us the next time we felt like a scape goat! I put down the ability to be stealthy, to gauge the situation and change directions fast. It's hard to outsmart a fox. I think of the Ginger Bread Man and how the fox talks him into riding on his back. So the fox is able to convince other's of her way of thinking. You get the idea!

Now I want to know if you decide to do this exercise! I would like to be your partner whom you tell about how it felt to do each step. Send me a picture of your drawings and your mask! Let's see what things you come up with. I have to admit that I've never quite felt like the scape goat who couldn't do anything about what was happening to her again. I've had times where I still did things I didn't want to do, but mostly I've seen these times as my having stopped thinking or moving. This exercise helped move me another step towards my healing. And now even after all these years since I've been there, I'm still learning from it!

I may go get that mask and think about what it means to see through the eyes of the fox for me! And I remember that St. Paul spoke about the things he did not want to do: "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate (Romans 7: 15)." He was speaking of sin to the Romans, but this passage has always stood out to me, because there are many times when "I do not do what I want to do, but I do what I hate. " It's as if I am watching myself from a distance as I do something I don't want to. As an artist, this exercise has helped me get beyond myself and my embarrassment at what I have done and at what other's have done to me!      

Art and Healing Excessive Stress

Inner Conflict

 

   This is how I felt last month. I couldn't figure out what was going on! I just knew that I was waking up with a whole bunch of stress, obsessing about something I had no control over and not able to settle down for anything. (And doing things I didn't want to do and couldn't stop myself from doing! Sounds like a passage from Paul!).  Even going out for a two hour hike at Raven Run and talking to my spiritual advisor didn't help. The absolute stress just came back! I started looking through my books about Art and Healing to see what Barbara Ganim and Susan Fox had to say and found the section on "Resolving Inner Conflict Through Soul Wisdom" in Visual Journaling: Going Deeper than Words.

According to Ganim and Fox, inner conflict comes up when we say or do something and feel another. This is related to believing that our ideas and opinions are untrustworthy and that we must defer to the ideas of others.

Fear is what drives our inner conflict. Usually from something that happens to us in childhood, it can be paralyzing in adulthood. At the core is the belief that if we fail to meet the expectations of others, we suffer their disapproval, condemnation and the withdrawal of their love. Hero-worship of another doesn't help this situation!

But this conflict is the primary source of stress: tight muscles, increased blood pressure, the release of stress-producing hormones. Which are all detrimental to our health!

First step is to identify the sources of inner conflict. The process is a little different than the steps that I've outlined before. Here you write down a few words that cause you inner conflict. Close your eyes and think about this conflict. Then open your eyes and write down your shoulds: When it comes to this issue I think I should; I think I shouldn't; I would like to; I do not want to; When I think about this issue I feel; I'm convinced other people think I; If I had my way with this issue; If I had my way I would; If I were honest they would think; If I were honest I would know that; the best soulution I can think of is... Notice any negative thought patterns, or attachments to other's opinions?  

Now close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Listen to your breathing and when you have begun to breath easily, focus your awareness on the conflict. Remember the last time you experienced this conflict and let that incident play in your mind's eye. Notice where in your body you are feeling this conflict. Imagine what this feeling would look like if it were an image. When you know, open your eyes and draw it.

It was eye opening to draw the picture above for me. I felt like I was strangling on what I wanted to do and that I was trying hard to open my heart to do what my heart was telling me to do, but that there was something holding me back!

Sit with your picture and see what it tells you about your inner conflict. Does it convey any special message or meaning about your conflict? Mine was showing me that I have some work to do to begin to live from my heart. To begin to know my feelings! There is definitely a difference! Words just couldn't express the feeling!

Ganim and Fox say that to bring your thoughts and feelings together you have to tap into your own soul wisdom. "From within your heart, you will ask your soul for a symbol that represents a resolution of this conflict, one that is in the best spiritual interests of not only yourself but of other involved parties as well."  And to do that you have to let your soul speak. The first step is to write down your intention to access a symbol that represents your soul's resolution of this conflict. Then you close your eyes, pay attention to your breathing until you feel connected to your body.

Allow your attention to drift to your heart center and when you are fully present to your heart, ask your soul for a symbol that represents a resolution to this conflict that is in the best interest of all concerned. Open your eyes and draw this symbol. Here's what came for me:

I wrote: "I intend to access a symbol that represents my soul's resolution of this conflict...

What do you feel the symbol represents?
The picture represents freedom, mermaids swim anywhere they want in the ocean and when dry change to adapt to the land. They attract with their voice. They are attractive to men. They breath water (Connects to my poem Breathing Water).

What does it have to do with your inner conflict?
I don't have to be stuck. I don't have to keep believing I'm not worthy. I can be free and be part of any environment.

What is your soul trying to tell you through this symbol?
I'm not stuck.

If each color you used could speak, what would it say to you about your conflict?
Yellow nails-personal power is at the tips of my fingers. Eyes-I can see what I need to see and speak in safety and security. Blue-I have the outer skin to be who I am. Red-and the safety and security to be safe and secure.
Bracelet? Maybe connects to Mom-decorates but doesn't bind. Green hair-floats in the water, is boyant and beautiful.
    

Has this symbol ever come up for you at any other time in your life? In what context.
This symbol came up in another inner conflict. It had to do with whether to stay in my job or leave where I was. The mermaid was climbing a rope between a ship and the ocean.

Is there a connection?
Has to do with life's work and freedom to do it.

If your symbol could speak, what would it say to you?
You are free, beautiful, worthy, blessed and loved. Nothing need stop you. You don't have to be trapped. You are safe to pursue your life's work.

What do you feel is your soul's solution to this conflict?
I will continue to work, but not for free, no matter what happens. I have to take care of myself and I know what to do!

This reminded me of a poem I wrote when I first began college:

Freedom

If your freedom suppresses my freedom, whose freedom is more important?

Your freedom is more important to you, should mine be less important

than yours?

Do we have true freedom between us?

Breathing Water

My heart spoke to you today

The baggage that it carries spoke louder

A snail will do that sometimes

Breathing underwater

Your heart spoke to me today

My antennae heard

themselves reflecting back

From the ripples of other contacts

Breathing underwater

My voice was wrapped in mufflers

retreat spiraling backwards

From lots of algae on the cage

The aquarium walls

Reflected what I don't see

At present we both see indistinctly

Breathing underwater

Your pressure suit

Lets in neither light nor sound

I knock to gain entrance

And you swim the other way

I trie on that suit myself

The airhoses and lifelines tangled

The heat was unbearable

Reflecting a circus mirror!

I tried skin diving

Breathing with aqualungs

Didn't give me as much oxygen as

Breathing underwater

I thought we needed

to check out the wreck

that waits on the bottom

You know it's just part of the aquarium

You want me to ignore that wreck

find our home on my back

But I can't

Stop Breathing Underwater

I found the key

In a pocket of my heart

I learned to Breath Water

And the aquarium walls disappeared!

My heart spoke to you today

Come breath liquid oxygen with me

The choice is ours

Just remember that whales can

speak to each other from miles away

-1993 Wenz

 

Art and Healing with the Homeless

Art of the Guests at the Community Inn, Lexington, Ky

Homeless Shelter

I have been very busy over the past five weeks and haven't had time to write! This is a good thing for me because I've been doing Art and Healing with the homeless population in Lexington. I went there to tour the shelter to get ready for another part time job of shepherding 3 seminarians from Los Angeles (which just ended!) As we were touring, the leader of GodsNet, Ginny Ramsey, told us that they held classes every evening from 7-9 pm. They were doing yoga, computer literacy, health checkups, and legal advice. I suddenly realized that I had a class that would fit perfectly! So I offered to do Art and Healing. Ginny wanted me to start the next day~!

I'm always cautious about getting started with things, so I offered to do a six week class on Sunday evenings. The above artwork is a partial show of the art that has been done over the last 5 weeks! They have been quite interested in the artwork. When they see me pull up, somebody always asks if I need some help (very gallant!) and if we are doing art tonight? I have surveyed the people who have come and most say they feel better afterwards and want to do more classes like this! Music to my ears!

I started writing grants to get materials and some help so that I could continue the classes! The Franciscan Vision group in Lexington began taking up a collection for art materials and suggested a couple of places for me to go to for grants. And then one evening I stopped at Starbucks and Lauren, who was at the window asked me what interesting thing I had been doing that day. I told her about Art and Healing and she got very excited. She has arranged an Art Show for August 28 where we will display the artwork we have been doing And they will take up a collection of art supplies for the whole week! She also came to class this past Sunday and met some of the people. We plan to partner for each six week class to do an art show and take up a collection. They will also advertise the Sandwich Ministry and each Starbucks with take a week to do sandwiches by the employees. This is all very exciting for me!

In addition to the class on Sunday evenings, Ginny also asked me to do a class with the Homeless Veterans on Wednesday afternoons. This will be an on-going class that will be supported by the VA! I will include their work with the other's for the art show. In addition to doing the Art and Healing work as I've described in other blogs, I am giving them strategies for alleviating anxiety as they go through their week (thanks to my friend Amy Cloud, who is the Adult Education Coordinator for Grant County). I brought peppermints to class and encouraged them to take several especially if they were filling out applications (I made sure to say not to have one in their mouths if they were interviewing!) We do the sign for infinity in the air (a sideways figure 8) forwards and backwards about 4 times with each hand to connect both sides of the brain. And I showed them the thymus thump where you give your chest a light thump just under the collarbone. I also give them a small 2 x 2 piece of colored paper which I invite them to choose to take with them. I explained that when they get anxious they can look at this square of color and that will help calm their axiety. They have all made sure they take their square with them every week.

I thank my creator that I am able to use my gifts as a creative person to help people in such a wonderful way! I will continue to update you on what is happening as I go along! I'll have to carve out time to do my own art!

Photo from Kentucky Herald Leader! See Merlene Davis' story May 12, 2011!

   

Physical Healing with Art

One of my first paintings!

     Dr. Mike Samuels writes  "For I believe that the voices of the inner worlds speak to us in a language that, in our world, is most similar to art. It is below words, it is above silence, it is closest to poetry and music...Art is the energy of healing."

     There have been a few times when I have been ill that I used my expressive arts to help access those deep seated emotions. There is a real connection between stress-producing emotions and illness. We can help our bodies heal from illness if we give our bodies access to speak through art!

     I find great release in painting and I must admit some trepidation. I have been painting this week after months of doing not much. Lately, I've had pain in my lower abdomen and have had to wait to hear from the doctor (hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait!)  I'm waiting today to hear from a test. As I was thinking about writing this blog, I thought I would share some of the artwork I've done for physical healing like the picture above. I was having a lot of trouble with asthma and diabetes so I did some releasing art and then just gave myself over to creating this abstract painting for healing. It was a revelation to me to see the number of birds that emerged from this abstract. All throughout the painting I saw bird shapes. I love the colors that are part of this painting. I can also report that my asthma and diabetes have gotten better. I was able to get off of one medication for asthma (and haven't had to use my nebulizer for several months!) and I am working on losing the weight that is the direct cause of the diabetes. Both of these are slow going and the healing is very gradual.

 This is my healing picture from my latest bout with pain! The V should be down!

     Art helps in the process of healing. Even the World Health Organization is studying the effects of the arts on holistic healing. I find it personally compelling. I know I would be a lot worse health wise as well as emotionally if I didn't do this work! What I have learned from this artwork is that I have more work to do. Whenever black appears in a painting, I know that there is more involved that is not quite ready to be revealed yet. That is left for the next time. It's part of what makes healing a real journey.  

     At the same time, any kind of painting seems to create spaces inside of me in the deepest part of my soul. I feel as if I am riding a stallion that will run wild if I let it loose, I'm just a little out of control! Or I feel as if I am being harnessed myself, that I am the horse. I can't wait to get back to it and yet I am also wanting to put the brakes on. Perhaps it is because in the painting I am doing I am not doing healing work? That is the difference for me. In doing Art and Healing, I am allowing my body, mind, and spirit to speak without trying to control how it looks. And in painting an image I am controlling the color, image, and look of the painting.

  

     Lindsay at Tybee Island Beach, unfinished.

     I am finding that there is much that I learn from both writing and art. I'm learning things about myself that I would never have known any other way. At the same time, I am also participating in my own healing work and it is helping me to be able to use my gift even more (even if it feels like a harness). If you have some physical problems happening, you may want to see what your body may be trying to tell you. In an earlier blog, I described how to access, release, and transform. Try it using craypas or crayons and just allow yourself to see what comes up! Remember to use your non-dominant hand in the releasing work. This helps you think with a different part of your brain. Journal with this artwork for some time to give yourself clues in what it is about. Look at the earlier blog to see what the colors that come up have to tell you. Then allow yourself to create an artwork of healing. You may be surprised at what comes up. I have done sculpture, watercolor, collage, as well as acrylic painting with these transforming artworks. Allow yourself to use whatever you need to use. Trust your spirit to tell you! Also remember to let yourself view this artwork for 3 minutes every day for a couple of weeks.  You will know when to move on to discover the next area of healing. I'll let you know what happens!   

My Eschatology

My Eschatology

As promised I brought back this picture that I did for a class at Seminary. Part of my healing process has been to try to understand my own theology (understanding of God) and my faith. This picture has been one of the most significant parts of that understanding! It was an exercise that I did for a class but it has become quite powerful for me. Eschatology means the understanding of life and death or end times. As I thought about how to picture this I thought about using a symbol for infinity  . The thing was that I couldn't be totally sure of what happens after death so I used the symbol slightly off to the side to represent this uncertainty. The world that we know is in the right-hand side, life. Life which included a friend in a wheelchair, a mother taking care of her child, a man who is worshiping his image in a mirror, a man and child who are starving, and a man who has shot another man. I included in my life image trees and horses to represent nature and all of the universe.

Jesus as the Lamb of God is victorious over death, represented by the lamb with the flag. I am Christian and so for me, Jesus' life and death, as informed by the stories of scripture, is the underlying faith story that informs my life.  The left-hand side of the symbol represents heaven. The woman in the wheelchair can run and have long hair, the man and his baby have their fill of food, the horse and the tree are there, as are the stars. The head with the wings is the red head of justice which is a figure from the work of Hildegard of Bingen, an abbess from the middle ages in Germany who was and artist. I used it to show that heaven is a place of justice. Justice guards the gates of heaven.

Under the lamb, I put a spot which is purgatory, the place where people go to work on things they need to before entering heaven. Here the man with the mirror learns to embrace others, the woman who took exclusive care of her children must learn to see herself too. And the man who was shot and killed wakes to find out what he needs to learn from an angel. Just to the right of this is an area of white ice that is hell. I got this from Dante's inferno. The lowest rung of hell is ice. The guy who shot the man is turning to ice. He has access to Jesus and can repent to enter heaven, but he is unable to turn around.

The creator can be seen as the figure that holds both sides together. All through the picture there are flames and breath. This represents the Holy Spirit which enlivens everything!

This is a good way to work things out for yourself! Start with a symbol and then start adding things to it. Use things from other places that make sense of what you are trying to understand. Working this out helped me to understand my own beliefs and brought them into a more wholistic thinking. It's one of my favorite paintings!

Fox Mask        

Life and Art

Thinking about and praying around Mother's Day got me to think about this painting I did as part of my seminary experience. I asked Mom to model the hands holding the rosary because they reminded me of my grandmother's hands! I am grateful to have them in my painting because they remind me of Mom now too! She taught me to pray! Actually, she got me to pray by telling me to pray a Hail Mary every time something was bugging me! It is my number one go to for when I am under stress. I am thankful that she did that and I am thankful that my Grandparents (both sets) Fred & Anna, and Bernard & Anna Lee could be found praying the rosary almost every time we came to visit them. Prayer has always been a big part of my life and is a huge part of my healing!

Healing is not just dealing with those things that hurt us, it is also recognizing the things that have been taught to us by others. My Dad taught me a sense of Social Justice. He was mayor of Augusta, Kentucky for years while we were growing up. He cared about the whole town! One day I was across the street from a store we had downtown and this car came roaring down the street, racing. It stopped at the river and turned around. I saw my Dad walk calmly out into the street and stand there as that car went slowly by him. I was scared to death that they would run over him, but he stood firm! That's why he appears on this painting of my life (and for others!).

My husband has been a huge part of my life and who I am now for going on 34 years. That cross was one we got on our wedding day. I have poetry that speaks to who he is in my life but I will have to come up with something more to put on this painting to represent what he means to me!

Hearts are something I doodle and pop up in my artwork all the time. This particular heart has purple and white on it. Those are the uppermost chakras! And cats are another familiar image for me. I love cats and they remind me of an aspect of my personality that just won't be nailed down! And the woman with two children is me (in a skirt that would be very familiar to my kids!) The little child with wings is my little Jessica whom I miscarried and is now in heaven!

I attended Lexington Theological Seminary for a Masters of Divinity. My own denomination is Roman Catholic, but I learned why and that I am very Catholic with the Disciples of Christ. This chalice is their symbol. I had issues with communion (and a struggle with my own Catholic teachings in this regard) that were so significant that I will always be grateful for the learning I got there.

And the two old men who are sitting outside of the Church, really happened. I was walking down the opposite street one day when I saw these two old guys going through some garbage bags in front of the church. I was scandalized and righteous but wouldn't go over to them. I felt a call to go and talk to them but I didn't. I may have entertained angels that day if I had. I will never again keep myself from talking to anyone again. That is why this is on the painting. It remains a significant piece of my Priesthood of All Believers, which is what this painting is called. It is unfinished as I am unfinished.

So, your challenge for this time would be to choose from among your own story, those things that make up who you are. Who are the people, the circumstances, the places that are you? Can you name them? What symbol would you put in the middle to represent yourself? This could be done with a small box where you place those special things in it or a painting like I've done. Would you finish it or leave it open? I seem to have chosen a stained glass window for my picture. What would yours be?

Just going through the story is very healing and it is a wonderful reminder of who has come before you. Happy Mother's Day!

Just a sneak peak into more art! This is my eschatology! Explanation to follow!

     

Being Creative!

Desk which I painted for my daughter, Lindsay.

Being creative often means you seldom do anything the same way twice! Sometimes you weave in things that don't seam to go together or use language as pictures. This desk was a labor of love for my daughter, Lindsay. I love using the unexpected as a canvas for my art. The picture on the front of the desk is of an island with sun and plane on one side and an erupting volcanoe on the other. She really loves lighthouses so the legs are painted like lighthouses from around the world! What a wonderful time we had planning and executing this project! And she is very proud (as am I) of the finished project. Being creative means thinking outside the box. What does your creative tool box have in it?

I showed you pictures the last time of my altar ego "Lizzie" and "Snailgirl" as well as "Dragon Lady." Even if you have trouble (or are afraid) to draw, you can start to know your inner self by beginning to map out or image (imagine) who are your different personalities. I am beginning to have stirrings about getting back into professional leadership in the church again. So I called some people whom are mentors for me and went to talk to them about doing this. That night I had a fitful night sleep and woke up at 5 a.m. questioning myself. What am I doing, why am I doing this, do I have what it takes to do this, will I be accepted, will I mess it up, etc., etc. you get the picture. So I prayed first of all and then sat down to do my art and healing work. My release picture looked like this:

In working with my emotions and using art to heal, I've discovered that I have to talk about things and then sleep on them (hopefully to dream an answer) but if I wake up more confused and questioning myself, it's time to get out the craypas! This whole picture has to do with my own fears, desires, issues of safety and connection problems. This release really was that. I calmed down and have been better able to be more clear about my own motives and whether I really am feeling a call (which I am!)

To help heal this space inside of me I used what I had at hand (I don't always paint!) and that one looks like this:

This snail energy is what I need to sustain through the next few weeks! Slow and steady. Carrying around what I need and trusting myself. Fear need not take over! I am beginning to be ready if I am called and appointed to the new position. I'll let you know.

If you are still getting started and need some help with beginning the inner pilgrimage, try to think about how you react when you are scared. Are there characteristics that you could name? What kind of animal, insect or inanimate object would that be? Look through some magazines and find a picture that you can cut out and put in your journal (yes an art journal is good. I use solid black ones because when I take them on retreat people are less likely to pick them up when I have carelessly left them somewhere. Pictures invite people to look inside them! I'm not always ready for that!)

You can do this with any emotion that you are feeling right now: happiness, excitement, stubbornness, anger, pain. If you need to heal these things (and that could come from not liking that part of yourself as well as something that has been hurting you), use the healing artwork steps I talked about in the last blog. I'd love to know what you discover about yourself!

How do I use art to heal?

Meet "Lizzie"

This week my spiritual advisor and I were talking about feelings. He asked me to tell him what image I would put to the feeling that I happened to be talking about right then. I told him about "Lizzie" who is a lizzard who climbs trees and is very fast and free! There is that part of my personality that is a climber! And when I am joyful this is how I feel! We each have many parts to our personalities. Some we like and others we'd just as soon not have!

The dragon is also a part of my personality. When she comes out I am so angry I breath fire! She was one of those parts of my personality that I had to make friends with! I tend to come up with animals to describe what I am feeling. When I need to protect myself my snail side comes out. I carry everything on my back and am quite slow at times to move on. It was a great way to discuss what has been happening to me. It is an important step in healing to be able to accept yourself and who you are. But sometimes we need something beyond words to help us grasp that which goes deeper than words.

Try this when you notice yourself being overwhelmed by a feeling, (it works especially well when you get stuck) place an image to it. First try moving. Swing your arms around, move your legs. (I like to walk a labyrinth when it's available) Sit down with crayons or color pastels with a piece of paper (8 x 10). Crayons or pastels work best because they are like those sticky emotions! Put your feet on the floor and close your eyes. Begin to breath deeply, taking 3 deep cleansing breaths in and out. On the third breath, make a noise as you exhale. Ask your spirit to give you an image or color that will represent this feeling. Try to find where in your body this feeling resides. And when you are ready open your eyes and begin to draw with your non-dominant hand (if right handed use your left). Even if you don't get an image see which color you are drawn to and just begin putting something on the page.

Let yourself draw until you are satisfied with it. Remember it doesn't have to be a Rembrandt. One of the things you won't be able to do is bring the part of you that is your critic to this process because you are using a different side of the brain than you are used to using. Did you get an image? Sometimes I get no more than scribbles on the page. How do you feel? Is there a difference? Look at your picture. What was the first color you put on the page? The colors correspond to different energy places on our bodies called chakras.

If you don't know why you are feeling a certain way this is a great way to help yourself map out your emotions. Red has to do with family of origin issues, safety and security. Orange has to do with our ability to accept our feelings and emotions. Yellow has to do with our peers, friends and enemies and our personal power. Green is where we hold our ability to open our heart, to give and receive love, and to release judgement. It is where we hold our life lessons and our abilty to teach others what we have learned (my favorite color!) Blue is where we hold our ability to speak up and to communicate our truth. To defend ourselves and others and to express what we are feeling and what we know. Purple is the place where we hold our ability to tune into messages from the body and it's energy. It provides us with knowing about ourselves, others, and what may happen. This is where we hold our creative energy. White is our spiritual center. The place we hold our ability to release and surrender to a higher power. Black is a place where something is still hidden from us (a place of no light). It will come into the light as we are more able to work through our emotions. And so Brown then is something coming into the light almost ready to take on a color.

Once you've had time to work with your cleansing image to see what you are working on, next pull together a form of art supply that you love to work with. I like acrylic paints for this part of the healing process. You could use water color, pencils, pastel chalks, clay, oils, material, collage, sculpture. (Make it bigger than an 8 x 10) This time you will create a healing image to replace what has been stuck in you. And this time as you create use whichever hand you want. Give yourself time to work on this creation as long as you need. You use the same proceedure (sit with your feet on the floor to begin, close your eyes, breath in 3 times and make a noise on the third time, ask your body and spirit for an image to heal this emotion. And then begin.

Put this creation in a place where you will see it every day for three weeks. And then display it where you will see it all the time. Looking at a healing image will help the cells of your body take in that healing! You will know when it is time. I am always amazed at the results and how beautiful each creation is. Honor what is given you because it is a gift from God (or your Higher Power!) When I have done this during a day retreat the diversity of images is breathtaking. I leave you with another of my own healing creations! Write to me with questions! They help!

               

As I was working with this artwork I followed my instincts. It needed to be 3 dimensional. You are free to use whatever you are drawn to. It could be quite surprising!

Healing is a Pilgrimage

Art is Powerful!

The journey for inner healing is not a straight path! It looks more like a labyrinth with many levels and peels like an onion! At least that is how my spiritual journey has been. Over the years I have felt compelled to seek help from others. And as I peeled back those layers, I could look back to see where I was being led.

The thing about a labyrinth is that you are physically turning back on yourself and just when you think you've reached the center you find yourself thrown back out to the edge. Things that don't seem very significant now come back to you when you least expect them and they add to or strip away from what Picasso called the "dust of everyday life." You know what happens when you let dust accumulate!

In one of the more painful times in my life, I sought out a spiritual advisor. Didn't know what they actually did but kept reading it in books and magazines. This lead me to a wonderful Sisters of Charity nun whom I connected with. I got to a place where I had no words for what was happening inside of me and she asked me if I could put an image(!) to the feeling. I realized that I had been given an image not long before of a snail. The snail has become part of who I am! And it describes my personality. I carry everything around with me (past, present, worries about the future) and I am slow on the uptake sometimes! Then there are those times when I seem to slip and slide my way along a path leaving a slime path behind. Just making that connection helped me be able to go on and talk about what was dammed up inside of me. (I got the image from a video where Maria Harris had asked us to find a shape in the clay we were holding. Art, of course!) I've made it part of my signature (if you look at the first blog I did you can probably see it in the bottom corner). It is an image that comes out for me as an aspect of who I am.

Movement inside the self may also take some movement on the outside or physically for anyone to access what needs to be healed! I always ask people to draw with their non-dominant hand to access what the body is calling for them to heal. Our dominant side hosts the judging/criticizing part of our brain which blocks or controls what we think. It is not always the wisest for our healing. Just that small movement from one hand to the other allows the body to free up our spirit. I also have asked groups to walk the labyrinth before they sit down to do a piece of art to help them get to a different place than they have brought with them. Dance is a powerful form of expressive art and one that people who need movement must use to help themselves to heal. I find walking the labyrinth immensely helpful when I begin my work with art and healing. My preference is with images, but I find a more well rounded response when using movement and voice (which I will speak of in another blog).

My son at 4.

Children are naturals with art, moving, and singing. They don't worry about how it looks or what color things should be! Blue noses and green feet are wonderful! Working with art and using your non-dominant hand takes you back to childhood. It frees up that child within to show what is happening inside of you. Each color you use corresponds and vibrates to a different energy center or chakra. It can help you find out what is happening with both physical pain as well as emotional and spiritual pain. I have lead one day retreats with Art and Healing, weekend retreats and used it in spiritual direction. There is something that is freed up by the use of art and I found that by understanding the process, I have been able to teach others how to work with it themselves.

Some of my work has been images, but some of it is abstract too. My son Michael offered one of the artworks I did for his healing to put on this blog! Thanks! I leave you with that image until the next time!

He calls this the All Seeing Eye!

New Venture for Me

Blogging is something I've been wanting to try and it took a friend of mine Pam Lee Miller to get me started. So thanks Pam!

My spritual journey began many years ago with becoming an artist in grade school (that is Catholic school!). The nuns noticed that I was good at copying the little pictures they gave us and asked me to do a poster one day. From there I began copying things from the encyclopedia. I have a cousin who is a very good artist and I thought I would try it out. I didn't have much training, although I took a couple of classes when I first went to college.

My college career ended early when I found out I was pregnant and I didn't get back to it until my second child was 4 years old (my oldest was 8). I decided to try something that I might get a job in and ended up with an English degree with a Woman Studies Minor. I took one art class: sculpture. Loved it! My journey continued with seminary where I earned a Masters of Divinity. I was expected to write my own theology as part of this program and I found this very hard to do. One of the exercises for class was to be creative and write our eschatology. (I will show this with an explanation in a later blog).

It was a revelation for me! I could paint what I had a hard time explaining in words. Writing came easier because of my artwork! I began showing my work at the Seminary. It was a great opportunity to talk about my artwork and to show what I had been doing. Then the spirit brought my life's work to me. One day while walking in Barnes and Noble, there was a book sitting on the floor facing me: Art and Healing by Barbara Ganim. I picked it up immediately.

Somehow I knew this was going to be important! I began working with the exercises in the book. But I kept getting frustrated because I wanted more information about what I was doing! I even tried using it with the spiritual direction I was beginning to do without much success. At the back of the book was a website from Salve Regina University in Rhode Island that offers an Expressive Arts Institute, a 3-weekend professional training program in the professional applications of the Expressive Arts. I drug my husband to two weekends and a friend to another!! Now driving from Kentucky to Rhode Island is a long way but it was so worth it!

I learned so much in those three weekends that I am using in my work with Spiritual Direction today. In addition to using to to create retreats and days of reflection, I have also healed many of the inner places inside of myself. The results of which I will share as we go along. This healing artwork is meant to be shared! It can and will help others heal by making them available for viewing. The above artwork is my healing sunflower.

This painting began as an exercise at one of the weekends in Rhode Island. I was surprised by a picture which I did that scared me:

I had to really work to like this dragon image. And to heal whatever this represented, I did another artwork:

 

This dragon is not so threatening!

 One of the things about healing and our inner journey that I have discovered through my work is that it is multi-layered and doesn't happen all at once. The image is more of an onion. And healing comes in many ways. I have found that doing art in this way has been more healing for me than anything I've ever done. The final healing painting I did was the sunflower at the beginning of this blog. It hangs in my kitchen and I share it here with you: