Access, Release, Transform!

 Soul Purpose

I was preparing for a session of Spiritual Direction with someone, and went to the book "Visual Journaling: Going Deeper than Words" by Barbara Ganim & Susan Fox to see if there was something I might need that day. I found "Discovering your Soul Purpose." I felt called to sit and see what would come up. This picture is what happened...there are several images that have come up over and over for me. The snail, the sun, the heart (double counting the one in the sun), and the mermaid. And then there's teeth on the heart and tail. The more I look at this image, the more I see. It leads me back to the poem I wrote many years ago called "Breathing Water." I found the second part of that poem. Contact me if you would like to read it! This picture represents a step in my own healing work that means I am breathing freely. The hurts and pains that I have carried around for years. I said to my own Spiritual Director the other day that my prayer life is whatever I am called to at the time. I am truly blessed that art is part of that! And that I can help share this with the world. It is beyond my wildest dreams! Thank you Lord! Thank you Mother! Thank you Jesus!

This beautiful piece was done by a 16 year old as her healing piece after learning how to Access, Release, & Transform.
In a spiritual direction session, to have such a beautiful piece come out for her, was exciting (for both of us)! I requested to take a picture to show on my blog. Isn't it amazing? Over and over, having shown people this work, I'm constantly amazed at the power of the healing work! This work is for the world!

About a month ago, I worked with a group of women at The Nest: Center for Women, Children, & Families, for their Relationship Recovery Workshop. There wasn't a lot of talk but I hope you agree with me, their art is powerful! There are issues of safety and sharing the work for them. Issues I hadn't thought of before. I am cautious about asking people to talk about their work, especially where trust is an issue. I hope to be able to go again! Thanks to Elizabeth Morton for bringing me in to work & meet them and to the women for allowing me to take a picture of their work!

   
I am busy sewing for my daughter's wedding in June, but after that, this fall I will be looking for places to bring more healing work.

I am so grateful to be able to share with you!

My prayer for this next period is one of my favorite prayers from the book "Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle" by Ted Loder. It's called

Loosen My Grip

O God, it is hard for me to let go,

most times,

and the squeeze I exert

garbles me and gnarls others.

So loosen my grip a bit

on the good times,

on the moments of sunlight and star shine and joy,

that the thousand graces they scatter as they pass

may nurture growth in me

rather than turn to brittle memories.

Loosen my grip

on those grudges and grievances

I hold so closely,

that I may risk exposing myself

to the spirit of forgiving and forgiveness

that changes things and resurrects dreams and courage.

Loosen my grip

on my fears

that I may be released a little into humility

and into an acceptance of my humanity.

Loosen my grip

on myself

that I may experience the freedom of a fool

who knows that to believe

is to see kingdoms, find power, sense glory;

to reach out

is to know myself held;

to laugh at myself

is to be in on the joke of your grace;

to attend to each moment

is to hear the faint melody of eternity;

to dare to love 

is to smell the wild flowers of heaven.

Loosen my grip

on my ways and words,

on my fears and frefulness

that letting go

into the depths of silence

and my own uncharted longings,

I may find myself held by you

and linked anew to all life

in this wild and wondrous world

you love so much,

so I may take to heart 

that you have taken me to heart.

Bless you Ted Loder! 

Art and Healing with Tweens!

Quilling 1

What I truly love about working with Art and Healing is that you can work with it at any age! I use the same techniques regardless of whom I am working! I was asked to come to McKee, KY, to work with a youth group of girls in grades 6-8. And so I got everything prepared. The girls were very cooperative although they had lots of questions about whether they would be "allowed" to do their own thing or would I be telling them what they "have" to do. I was able to assure them that they would be making their own art.

I had them sit up straight with their hands on their laps. We did the sideways figure eights and then the breathing. They of course giggled when I asked them to make a noise! They had no problem with drawing with their non-dominant hand and got pretty quickly to putting on paper something that was bothering them. They really enjoyed tearing this up and burning the pieces. One girl brought a letter out and burned it at the same time. I didn't ask them to turn to each other and talk about how it felt. I was hesitant, because in a small group like that they may not have felt comfortable. I felt for the first time working with this that I wouldn't ask them to share anything. If I do this with this age again, I think I will have them write on the back of their paper how they felt after doing the Access and Release.

They were really ready to settle down and begin the Tranformation artwork and didn't have any problem searching among the bins provided to come up with their own artwork! Here is their finished work:

  

    

They had an easy time picking their colors for the background of their artwork. This time though one of the girls asked for black and I was able to speak about black as the absence of color and that for this artwork they should pick a color. They seemed okay with this idea. I hadn't thought about how a lot of young people now really resinate with black. I explained that when they used black on their release picture it meant that they had more to work on with this issue. To help heal that place inside of them they needed a color to begin with for their transformation.

As they worked they talked a lot about a movie they were all going to see called "The Hunger Games." And they were busy needling each other about being stalkers. There were a couple of sisters in the group. I encouraged them to take a square of color with them to keep in their pockets, since several of them would be leaving their artwork to dry. It would be fun to get the chance to work more with them and to have them try different mediums and to get a chance to talk about what they have done. We had an art showing with everyone.

I showed them how to quill paper and used it on my own artwork in the first image. This is an old form of art. According to Ann Martin, "Quilling, the coiling and shaping of narrow paper strips to create a design, has been around for years — hundreds, in fact. During the Renaissance, nuns and monks would roll gold-gilded paper remnants trimmed during the bookmaking process, and use them to decorate religious objects as an alternative to costly gold filigree. Quilling later became a pastime of 18th and 19th century young ladies in England, who would decorate tea caddies and pieces of furniture with paper filigree. The practice crossed the Atlantic with colonists, who added quilling to candle sconces and trays as home decorations."

One of the girls actually used some quilling on her picture! It is always nice to pass on something you love! Thanks to Rebekah Koury for inviting me to come share this work with this group of great young women!

Retreating with Art and Healing

It has been too long since I last wrote for this blog, but in that time there has been Christmas holidays and I was relieved of my phone. So the pictures I was going to use are gone! It has been hard to get myself to write because I rely so much on photo art!

In November I lead a retreat for Westside Unitarian Universalist Church of Farragut, TN. This church gets together every year at Pickett State Park.

 

I worked with a group of 13 of the campers, both adults and children. I taught them the stress releasing techniques that I have talked about in other blogs.

They were receptive and worked some beautiful artworks. One remarkable couple that came were both colorblind and legally blind. They had no problem with doing the artwork that released a negative emotion. I worked with the legally blind one by telling him that he doesn't have to know what colors he is using, but to go with what he is attracted to. I spread out his crayons in front of him and helped him find the center of his paper. I didn't know his partner was color blind until later! They were open to working how they could. I talked to them about the scientific evidence of the vibration of colors and that they might need someone to tell them what color they were working with but that they could do the work if they were open. Each color is assoicated with a point on the body which corresponds with the energy points (or chakras).  

The next day we worked on the transformative piece of artwork. I wish I had pictures to show you what they created! I lead my legally blind man to the modelling clay. He was delighted that he could connect with something that he remembered doing when he was younger. He fashioned a small blue travel trailer. I was honored that he would participate! What a wonderful witness! His wife didn't come back to the second part (we did one part in the morning and then the next in the afternoon.) I honor what each person's needs are. There are other ways to healing through voice, music, and movement. Art happens to be my own particular mode of healing!  Part of the weekend was a wonderful time of singing a Taize morning service. We moved and sang songs! It was also a healing time for me! What a wonderful group of people! They asked me if I would come join their church! I think 4 hours is a little difficult to do every week!

Later in November I visited Quest Farm in Georgetown, KY to do Art and Healing with the residents of the Farm! They are developmentally challenged adults who live together and work the farm. They sell ink pens and flowers which they grow themselves. The three pictures above were three that two of the residents did for me after we did our Art and Healing work.

We went through the breathing exercises as I always do when I begin. I asked them to find a place in their bodies that felt bad and to put it down on paper. We gave them each seven crayons: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and black. They each came up with a picture. I had them fold them up and tear them up (if they wanted to, some didn't). Then they chose their own color squares to do their healing pictures on. We did the breathing exercises again and when I asked them to do a noise this time they were louder! I asked them to go back to the same place inside of their bodies they went before and to ask for a picture or color that would heal this bad feeling. They were receptive and did some beautiful pictures that they were proud of! We hung them up so they would be able to see them every day. I heard that they were talking about what we did later in their houses.

Not every person participated but they all were into the pictures I took. I got many hugs that day too.
The above pictures were done after I showed them how to make turkeys from their hand prints! Ruth also did a picture of Quest Farm for me. It was a great afternoon!

The rest of my time was spent making dresses for my granddaughters. I find sewing soothing and healing for me. This is a smocked dress with frogs on ornaments. Mariel loved it and didn't want to take it off! I also made a red dress with Christmas flamingos for Lyla, but I didn't take a seperate picture of it to show you! If you have an outlet for your healing, I'd love to hear about it!  Blessings on the new year! 

Do Over! I Wish!

Being Foxy!

A huge part of healing is giving ourselves the chance to work with those things we wished we hadn't done! I've had a couple of those things happen to me lately and it made me think about this exercise we did at the Expressive Arts Institute at Salve Regina University in Newport, RI.

They had us begin by thinking of an incident where we did something we wish we could take back or do over! The first part of the exercise began with writing stream of consciousness (non stop writing) that is telling about how this incident felt using any words we wished including our emotions about it. We did this for two minutes. The leader timed it! (Thank goodness, we didn't share these because mine was full of swear words!) We talked to our partners about how this felt.

Then we were invited to write a report about the incident, no emotions, just the facts maam! We were reporters of what happened (for two minutes again). We talked about how this felt.

Next we were invited to write just telling the story as a story. Both emotions and facts. It was surprising to me how this felt! Like telling something but not being caught up in emotions or just telling the facts. It was a narrative! We once again had two minutes to write.

The next step for us was to sit back, breath and ask our bodies for an image that would help us with this story. Who were we in the story? My image was that of a little goat:

 I haven't looked at this for a while and didn't notice that the goat has blue eyes, tongue, and feet! Blue is always about communicating. It is the throat chakra. And yellow horns! Yellow is a power color for me which is the solar plexis chakra.

So this little goat was communicating seeing, speaking up and being able to move and having a power in her horns! Nice! Never saw that before!

Anyway, next we were invited to write a fairy tale beginning, "Once upon a time..." Mine was: The Little Scape Goat! It felt so strange writing this way and coming up with a tale for the circumstances! We didn't have much time (2 minutes) but I came up with a neat little tale using the idea of animal characters.

Next we were invited to think about what kind of character would have the skills we would need to help us out of the situation and to handle that situation differently. We were given these half poster boards with the paint sticks stapled on the bottom and invited to cut holes for the eyes the first thing. I chose to do a fox mask:

 This is a creative kind of thing that I absolutely love doing! I shaped it and worked on it until it got to this place. Notice the blue eyes? We were then invited to write on the back of our masks what qualities this mask had that would help us the next time we felt like a scape goat! I put down the ability to be stealthy, to gauge the situation and change directions fast. It's hard to outsmart a fox. I think of the Ginger Bread Man and how the fox talks him into riding on his back. So the fox is able to convince other's of her way of thinking. You get the idea!

Now I want to know if you decide to do this exercise! I would like to be your partner whom you tell about how it felt to do each step. Send me a picture of your drawings and your mask! Let's see what things you come up with. I have to admit that I've never quite felt like the scape goat who couldn't do anything about what was happening to her again. I've had times where I still did things I didn't want to do, but mostly I've seen these times as my having stopped thinking or moving. This exercise helped move me another step towards my healing. And now even after all these years since I've been there, I'm still learning from it!

I may go get that mask and think about what it means to see through the eyes of the fox for me! And I remember that St. Paul spoke about the things he did not want to do: "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate (Romans 7: 15)." He was speaking of sin to the Romans, but this passage has always stood out to me, because there are many times when "I do not do what I want to do, but I do what I hate. " It's as if I am watching myself from a distance as I do something I don't want to. As an artist, this exercise has helped me get beyond myself and my embarrassment at what I have done and at what other's have done to me!      

Art and Healing Excessive Stress

Inner Conflict

 

   This is how I felt last month. I couldn't figure out what was going on! I just knew that I was waking up with a whole bunch of stress, obsessing about something I had no control over and not able to settle down for anything. (And doing things I didn't want to do and couldn't stop myself from doing! Sounds like a passage from Paul!).  Even going out for a two hour hike at Raven Run and talking to my spiritual advisor didn't help. The absolute stress just came back! I started looking through my books about Art and Healing to see what Barbara Ganim and Susan Fox had to say and found the section on "Resolving Inner Conflict Through Soul Wisdom" in Visual Journaling: Going Deeper than Words.

According to Ganim and Fox, inner conflict comes up when we say or do something and feel another. This is related to believing that our ideas and opinions are untrustworthy and that we must defer to the ideas of others.

Fear is what drives our inner conflict. Usually from something that happens to us in childhood, it can be paralyzing in adulthood. At the core is the belief that if we fail to meet the expectations of others, we suffer their disapproval, condemnation and the withdrawal of their love. Hero-worship of another doesn't help this situation!

But this conflict is the primary source of stress: tight muscles, increased blood pressure, the release of stress-producing hormones. Which are all detrimental to our health!

First step is to identify the sources of inner conflict. The process is a little different than the steps that I've outlined before. Here you write down a few words that cause you inner conflict. Close your eyes and think about this conflict. Then open your eyes and write down your shoulds: When it comes to this issue I think I should; I think I shouldn't; I would like to; I do not want to; When I think about this issue I feel; I'm convinced other people think I; If I had my way with this issue; If I had my way I would; If I were honest they would think; If I were honest I would know that; the best soulution I can think of is... Notice any negative thought patterns, or attachments to other's opinions?  

Now close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Listen to your breathing and when you have begun to breath easily, focus your awareness on the conflict. Remember the last time you experienced this conflict and let that incident play in your mind's eye. Notice where in your body you are feeling this conflict. Imagine what this feeling would look like if it were an image. When you know, open your eyes and draw it.

It was eye opening to draw the picture above for me. I felt like I was strangling on what I wanted to do and that I was trying hard to open my heart to do what my heart was telling me to do, but that there was something holding me back!

Sit with your picture and see what it tells you about your inner conflict. Does it convey any special message or meaning about your conflict? Mine was showing me that I have some work to do to begin to live from my heart. To begin to know my feelings! There is definitely a difference! Words just couldn't express the feeling!

Ganim and Fox say that to bring your thoughts and feelings together you have to tap into your own soul wisdom. "From within your heart, you will ask your soul for a symbol that represents a resolution of this conflict, one that is in the best spiritual interests of not only yourself but of other involved parties as well."  And to do that you have to let your soul speak. The first step is to write down your intention to access a symbol that represents your soul's resolution of this conflict. Then you close your eyes, pay attention to your breathing until you feel connected to your body.

Allow your attention to drift to your heart center and when you are fully present to your heart, ask your soul for a symbol that represents a resolution to this conflict that is in the best interest of all concerned. Open your eyes and draw this symbol. Here's what came for me:

I wrote: "I intend to access a symbol that represents my soul's resolution of this conflict...

What do you feel the symbol represents?
The picture represents freedom, mermaids swim anywhere they want in the ocean and when dry change to adapt to the land. They attract with their voice. They are attractive to men. They breath water (Connects to my poem Breathing Water).

What does it have to do with your inner conflict?
I don't have to be stuck. I don't have to keep believing I'm not worthy. I can be free and be part of any environment.

What is your soul trying to tell you through this symbol?
I'm not stuck.

If each color you used could speak, what would it say to you about your conflict?
Yellow nails-personal power is at the tips of my fingers. Eyes-I can see what I need to see and speak in safety and security. Blue-I have the outer skin to be who I am. Red-and the safety and security to be safe and secure.
Bracelet? Maybe connects to Mom-decorates but doesn't bind. Green hair-floats in the water, is boyant and beautiful.
    

Has this symbol ever come up for you at any other time in your life? In what context.
This symbol came up in another inner conflict. It had to do with whether to stay in my job or leave where I was. The mermaid was climbing a rope between a ship and the ocean.

Is there a connection?
Has to do with life's work and freedom to do it.

If your symbol could speak, what would it say to you?
You are free, beautiful, worthy, blessed and loved. Nothing need stop you. You don't have to be trapped. You are safe to pursue your life's work.

What do you feel is your soul's solution to this conflict?
I will continue to work, but not for free, no matter what happens. I have to take care of myself and I know what to do!

This reminded me of a poem I wrote when I first began college:

Freedom

If your freedom suppresses my freedom, whose freedom is more important?

Your freedom is more important to you, should mine be less important

than yours?

Do we have true freedom between us?

Breathing Water

My heart spoke to you today

The baggage that it carries spoke louder

A snail will do that sometimes

Breathing underwater

Your heart spoke to me today

My antennae heard

themselves reflecting back

From the ripples of other contacts

Breathing underwater

My voice was wrapped in mufflers

retreat spiraling backwards

From lots of algae on the cage

The aquarium walls

Reflected what I don't see

At present we both see indistinctly

Breathing underwater

Your pressure suit

Lets in neither light nor sound

I knock to gain entrance

And you swim the other way

I trie on that suit myself

The airhoses and lifelines tangled

The heat was unbearable

Reflecting a circus mirror!

I tried skin diving

Breathing with aqualungs

Didn't give me as much oxygen as

Breathing underwater

I thought we needed

to check out the wreck

that waits on the bottom

You know it's just part of the aquarium

You want me to ignore that wreck

find our home on my back

But I can't

Stop Breathing Underwater

I found the key

In a pocket of my heart

I learned to Breath Water

And the aquarium walls disappeared!

My heart spoke to you today

Come breath liquid oxygen with me

The choice is ours

Just remember that whales can

speak to each other from miles away

-1993 Wenz

 

Art and Healing with the Homeless

Art of the Guests at the Community Inn, Lexington, Ky

Homeless Shelter

I have been very busy over the past five weeks and haven't had time to write! This is a good thing for me because I've been doing Art and Healing with the homeless population in Lexington. I went there to tour the shelter to get ready for another part time job of shepherding 3 seminarians from Los Angeles (which just ended!) As we were touring, the leader of GodsNet, Ginny Ramsey, told us that they held classes every evening from 7-9 pm. They were doing yoga, computer literacy, health checkups, and legal advice. I suddenly realized that I had a class that would fit perfectly! So I offered to do Art and Healing. Ginny wanted me to start the next day~!

I'm always cautious about getting started with things, so I offered to do a six week class on Sunday evenings. The above artwork is a partial show of the art that has been done over the last 5 weeks! They have been quite interested in the artwork. When they see me pull up, somebody always asks if I need some help (very gallant!) and if we are doing art tonight? I have surveyed the people who have come and most say they feel better afterwards and want to do more classes like this! Music to my ears!

I started writing grants to get materials and some help so that I could continue the classes! The Franciscan Vision group in Lexington began taking up a collection for art materials and suggested a couple of places for me to go to for grants. And then one evening I stopped at Starbucks and Lauren, who was at the window asked me what interesting thing I had been doing that day. I told her about Art and Healing and she got very excited. She has arranged an Art Show for August 28 where we will display the artwork we have been doing And they will take up a collection of art supplies for the whole week! She also came to class this past Sunday and met some of the people. We plan to partner for each six week class to do an art show and take up a collection. They will also advertise the Sandwich Ministry and each Starbucks with take a week to do sandwiches by the employees. This is all very exciting for me!

In addition to the class on Sunday evenings, Ginny also asked me to do a class with the Homeless Veterans on Wednesday afternoons. This will be an on-going class that will be supported by the VA! I will include their work with the other's for the art show. In addition to doing the Art and Healing work as I've described in other blogs, I am giving them strategies for alleviating anxiety as they go through their week (thanks to my friend Amy Cloud, who is the Adult Education Coordinator for Grant County). I brought peppermints to class and encouraged them to take several especially if they were filling out applications (I made sure to say not to have one in their mouths if they were interviewing!) We do the sign for infinity in the air (a sideways figure 8) forwards and backwards about 4 times with each hand to connect both sides of the brain. And I showed them the thymus thump where you give your chest a light thump just under the collarbone. I also give them a small 2 x 2 piece of colored paper which I invite them to choose to take with them. I explained that when they get anxious they can look at this square of color and that will help calm their axiety. They have all made sure they take their square with them every week.

I thank my creator that I am able to use my gifts as a creative person to help people in such a wonderful way! I will continue to update you on what is happening as I go along! I'll have to carve out time to do my own art!

Photo from Kentucky Herald Leader! See Merlene Davis' story May 12, 2011!

   

Physical Healing with Art

One of my first paintings!

     Dr. Mike Samuels writes  "For I believe that the voices of the inner worlds speak to us in a language that, in our world, is most similar to art. It is below words, it is above silence, it is closest to poetry and music...Art is the energy of healing."

     There have been a few times when I have been ill that I used my expressive arts to help access those deep seated emotions. There is a real connection between stress-producing emotions and illness. We can help our bodies heal from illness if we give our bodies access to speak through art!

     I find great release in painting and I must admit some trepidation. I have been painting this week after months of doing not much. Lately, I've had pain in my lower abdomen and have had to wait to hear from the doctor (hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait!)  I'm waiting today to hear from a test. As I was thinking about writing this blog, I thought I would share some of the artwork I've done for physical healing like the picture above. I was having a lot of trouble with asthma and diabetes so I did some releasing art and then just gave myself over to creating this abstract painting for healing. It was a revelation to me to see the number of birds that emerged from this abstract. All throughout the painting I saw bird shapes. I love the colors that are part of this painting. I can also report that my asthma and diabetes have gotten better. I was able to get off of one medication for asthma (and haven't had to use my nebulizer for several months!) and I am working on losing the weight that is the direct cause of the diabetes. Both of these are slow going and the healing is very gradual.

 This is my healing picture from my latest bout with pain! The V should be down!

     Art helps in the process of healing. Even the World Health Organization is studying the effects of the arts on holistic healing. I find it personally compelling. I know I would be a lot worse health wise as well as emotionally if I didn't do this work! What I have learned from this artwork is that I have more work to do. Whenever black appears in a painting, I know that there is more involved that is not quite ready to be revealed yet. That is left for the next time. It's part of what makes healing a real journey.  

     At the same time, any kind of painting seems to create spaces inside of me in the deepest part of my soul. I feel as if I am riding a stallion that will run wild if I let it loose, I'm just a little out of control! Or I feel as if I am being harnessed myself, that I am the horse. I can't wait to get back to it and yet I am also wanting to put the brakes on. Perhaps it is because in the painting I am doing I am not doing healing work? That is the difference for me. In doing Art and Healing, I am allowing my body, mind, and spirit to speak without trying to control how it looks. And in painting an image I am controlling the color, image, and look of the painting.

  

     Lindsay at Tybee Island Beach, unfinished.

     I am finding that there is much that I learn from both writing and art. I'm learning things about myself that I would never have known any other way. At the same time, I am also participating in my own healing work and it is helping me to be able to use my gift even more (even if it feels like a harness). If you have some physical problems happening, you may want to see what your body may be trying to tell you. In an earlier blog, I described how to access, release, and transform. Try it using craypas or crayons and just allow yourself to see what comes up! Remember to use your non-dominant hand in the releasing work. This helps you think with a different part of your brain. Journal with this artwork for some time to give yourself clues in what it is about. Look at the earlier blog to see what the colors that come up have to tell you. Then allow yourself to create an artwork of healing. You may be surprised at what comes up. I have done sculpture, watercolor, collage, as well as acrylic painting with these transforming artworks. Allow yourself to use whatever you need to use. Trust your spirit to tell you! Also remember to let yourself view this artwork for 3 minutes every day for a couple of weeks.  You will know when to move on to discover the next area of healing. I'll let you know what happens!